Step Four Instructions
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
SEARCHING – Careful examination or investigation
FEARLESS – Bold and brave
MORAL – Concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct. The distinction between right and wrong; ethical
INVENTORY – A complete listing of merchandise or stock on hand, or of ourselves.
Read How It Works from “Therefore we started upon …” pg. 64 to the last sentence on pg. 65
Ask one simple question: How free are you willing to be?
Many people, including myself, have miracles happen as a result of the intensive work we did on our step four.
What follows is a detailed description how to complete a thorough step four.
Resentment is the number one offender.
Resentment definition: The feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, or person, regarded as causing injury or insult.
Step Four is all about being thorough, honest and complete. You can use examples from your own step four when taking a sponsee through this step. (For this book I used general examples similar to the list show in the Big Book on pg. 65.) The step four lists are private and confidential and should not be talked about or shown to anyone, other than the people directly involved.
Important Instruction:
Best to start these Sessions with the Step Three Prayer!
The first three columns should be completed before beginning Step 4b.
Column 1 – RESENTMENT: People, Institutions, Principles
The instructions call this a list, and lists are done top to bottom not side to side. So do column one first – People, Institutions, and Principles.
Then the Cause… And then Affects My…
We list People, Institutions, and Principles (PIP) with whom we were angry. Most of our resentments will be with individuals. We might think we dislike the police when in fact it is one officer that you resent (probably the one who arrested you for drunk driving – again). So be specific!
In the book they call this our grudge list; write down the name of anyone and anything that pisses you off every time you re-think about it. Resentment can go from mild displeasure all the way to furious anger. But recall this is an inventory, where we take the “stock in trade.”
We do not fool ourselves about values.
List randomly and cathartically; get every resentment that has caused you injury or insult, down on paper. This is not only about the big resentments; family members, friends, and acquaintances. It is also about everything that continues to make you angry or upset.
Everything you keep holding on to.
You should list people who cut in line, bad drivers (road rage), coworkers, strangers; any person, institution, any principle, that has made you upset and angry, and continues to made you upset and angry. Most of the people that go through the steps for the first time can, with enough effort, come up with well over a hundred resentments.
How free are you willing to be?
You can use several examples from your own step four to illustrate what you expect to see on your sponsee step four lists.
In your notebook – start with a column approximately two inches wide, from the left hand side of the left page of two open pages; enough to write simple names of: People: Any human being I have ever felt resentment or anger towards. Institutions: Establishments and organizations: banks, schools, the institution of marriage etc. Principles: Personal or specific basis of conduct: “honesty is the best policy,” “money doesn’t grow on trees”, “always do the right thing.” See an example of the first three columns below.
You can too easily complicate this part of the program. That is not the way it is meant to be. Just make an honest list of all the things that have upset you in your life… Keep it simple and try not to over-think this process!
If you want freedom from bondage: How free do you want to be?
Be thorough and honest: Do the work!
Column 2 – THE CAUSE
In point form, as briefly as possible, write a meaningful phrase (a few words), to describe each cause, for each resentment, starting with the first resentment. Write out all the “causes” for each resentment on the list. There may be several for each resentment. See pg. 65 of the Big Book for their example. Write out as many points as you might have for each resentment. This is where you get to totally unwind about “what they have done to you” in your life.
Column 3 – AFFECTS MY
For each resentment write out the descriptive word used in the book, or create a legend titled “Affects My” so you can refer to it and use the number as you fill in this column. We have split security into two components. List the Resentments first, then Causes, then Affects My, to indicate how each cause affected you. It could be any and/or all of the six affects for each cause. 1) Self-esteem 2) Physical Security 3) Emotional Security 4) Ambitions 5) Personal Relations, 6) Sex Relations
IMPORTANT NOTE: Once you have thoroughly explained the first three columns of Step Four, and how to write them in the notebook (see example on page 20) assign them as homework at the end of this session.
Column 1 – People, Institutions, and Principles Column 2 – The Cause Column 3 – What it affected
“Liberation can only be gained by practice, never by mere discussion.” ~ S.N. Goenka
“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” ~ Carlos Castaneda
Resentments
In your notebook write out as many resentments as you can think of; three or four resentments to a page. Number each resentment and leave several lines between each one. We asked ourselves: “Why were we angry?” We were sore. We were burned up. We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. The first thing apparent; this world and its people were often quite wrong. This is all the stuff from our past that has kept us from experiencing the power of God in our life.
This process can be done with a few days between Session 4a and Session 4b, but must be completed before Session 4b.
The end of Session 4a
Resentment, Cause and Affects My Columns